Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
