so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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