Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
