hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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