Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
