AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
