Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
