some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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