white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
