Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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