D3 body, D1 cock
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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