Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
