YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
