omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
