Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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