yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
