i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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