my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
