your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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