I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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