Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
