I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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