Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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