Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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