But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
