How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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