so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
