after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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