Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I will be naked everywhere
How external is "for external use only"?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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