I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
