she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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