you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
