Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
