Apparently you make a good broom.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
