i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my being single is dangerous.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
