i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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