hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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