I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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