question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You're like the curious george of whores
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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