And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
