I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
