Im at strip club and am horny
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
