How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Panties = found
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
