Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
