We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
