If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
