my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
