put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
