How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
