you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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